My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize