smell my finger.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize