i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
