Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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