At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
