Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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