I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
