The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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