i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
