We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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