Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
