so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
