physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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