i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
