just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
