do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
