i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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