wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
