Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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