I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
