Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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