Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
