Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
