What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
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