I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize