I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
