some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
