I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
