im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
