Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
