You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
we're so committed to being not committed
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
