if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
