All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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