VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
