Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
