Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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