I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
