He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
