Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize