I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
