she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
