We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
MIDGETS
????
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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