I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Small penises have feelings too.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
