what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Too much gin, very little bucket
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
