Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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