that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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