Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
