He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
