I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
