considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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