Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
