Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You're like the curious george of whores
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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