the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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