he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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