Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
